I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
