Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
