We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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