I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
