It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
