The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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