Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
