Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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