How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
