you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
