i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
