i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
