dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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