Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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