Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
