oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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