I love black thongs
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
