We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
