there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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