you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
