puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
