but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
