Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
