I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
