I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
wow bdsm is so cute
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
