The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
