The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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