I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
