Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
