? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
