Screwed.edu
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
