where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
try to milk me bitch
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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