Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
