Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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