yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
