i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
