I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
