Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
