Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
