Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
