.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
