i permit you to call me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
