just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
