I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
