that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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