think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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