i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
