you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
