fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
