At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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