Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
