Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
